100% Free Dating Sites

A review of 100% Free Dating Sites

Reminisce about your first date together

Even if it was a disaster, thinking back to how you two got started out is fun. Sharing your history with each other can give you both a perspective that allows you to weather temporary glitches on the radar better, because of the sense of shared past. Nothing is more romantic than the sense that we’ve come through troubled times together. It’s metaphorical equivalent of being cozied up in front of a roaring fire together with a cold wind blowing outside.


July 17, 2009 Posted by | Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Write A Love Note

Just as flowers speak volumes, putting pen to paper bespeaks extra effort, something from the heart.

You don’t have to rhyme, be bill Shakespeare, or be flowery. Cards are fine, but struggling through on your own is even better. Don’t try to be cute or funny. Your words don’t have to be poetry (although poetry’s cool), and if you’re really talented at drawing, terrific, add a sketch or two. But the point the point here isn’t so much about artistry as sincerity. Just write a sweet sentiment from your heart. Something gentle and touching – and try not to make it a mash note (body parts shouldn’t be too graphically mentioned).

Buying a nice sheet of paper is much better than ripping something out of your notebook, and post ’ems are to be avoided just this once. Don’t even think about typing the note. If your handwriting is lousy, print – and no pencil, please. Also, try not to misspell a whole lot. Just make sure your note’s legible, and don’t worry about points off for punctuation (after all, your love isn’t your English teacher – I hope). Understand that the real value in writing a love note is that it’s hard to do. We’ve all been talking a lot longer than we’ve been writing, so sometimes you can really get to the heart of the matter (get it??) a bit more quickly by putting pen to paper rather than word of mouth.

One last word about love notes: Make sure it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands. No passing it out in class.

July 16, 2009 Posted by | Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Send Flowers for No Reason

It’s not coincidental that the biggest flower day of the year is Valentine’s Day, the day originally set aside to remember friends that has evolved into a lover’s holiday. Flowers remind us of Mother Nature at her most lovely, which is always helpful when dealing with romance. Plants are lovely, but not nearly as romantic.

Even though we all know that flowers come from seeds and take work and care – They need to be watered, weeded, fertilized with just the right amount of manure, dead-headed, and so on – a beautiful flower reminds us of the bounty of life and the possibility of artistry. What better symbol than a flower to represent the birds and bees (even Belle in Disney’s Beauty and the beast is transfixed by the glow of a frozen flower that can be melted and brought back to life by love).

Trust me, anything that works on the designated holiday works even better on a random day and is scads cheaper. The bouquet can be hand delivered by you or sent if you’re feeling flush or shy; you can send a dozen roses or a single stem, orchids or violates, seasonal or hothouse. The point isn’t the lavishness, but the thoughtfulness.

Guys like getting flowers too, just ease off the roses. Think about an amaryllis (Called boy flowers by some for obvious reasons) or chrysanthemums or Indian paint brushes or something a bit exotic. The Messages is still romantic and thoughtful and sexy.

Make sure you don’t send the same flowers for birthday, fights, or special events. Roses are romantic, but don’t get in a rut.

July 15, 2009 Posted by | Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ten Ways to Make Every Day Like Valentine’s Day

St. Valentine’s Day conjured images of candies in foil hearts, boxed roses, and a romantic dinner. But the real romance of Valentine’s Day isn’t the food or the flowers: It’s the feeling of being important enough to someone else to be remembered and fussed over and loved and cherished. It’s sharing a loving (not necessarily sexual) experience; picking out a scent together or choosing warm, woolen mittens or a perfect scented candle or a fuzzy warm blanket or a CD you both like. It’s a shared ice cream Cone.

Well, I’ve got news for you: You don’t have to wait for February 14th to get or give that feeling. Just as you can have Christmas in July, you can make any day Valentine’s Day. Just try a few of the ideas in this chapter – any day of the year – and I’ll bet you can melt your date’s heart fasterĀ  than chocolate in August, with a lot less mess.

July 13, 2009 Posted by | Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Analyze Fear

Fear. It’s buried and it’s old and it’s kinda nasty and it’s pretty familier. If you’ve followed the advice in each of the preceding sections, you may have bumped up against a really uncomfortable feeling. Its names range from the blue meanies, to the bogey man, our demons, our baggage. It’s that part of ourselves that we shield like crazy because we hate it about ourselves, and it makes us really, really unhappy and scared. It may be that we fear we’ll be abandoned or that we’re too fat or too stupid or too smart or too tall or too short or too thin. Whatever our fear, it’s likely gotten moldy because it’s been around for so long. It’s often leftover from childhood or adolescence and pops up at the most inconvenient times – like when we are trying to let down our guard and feel close to someone and let them know the true us so we can feel loved.

It is impossible to be completely without fear, and that’s okey: Fear warns us. After all, it would be stupid to cross the street without looking, or do a header off the Empire State Building. But we can look at our fear, our assumptions, our anger, our patterns and decide to try and do something different. The moment we do that, our fear no longer controls us. We’re in charge of our own life, and paradoxically, these moments are most likely to happen when we let another person into our intimate life.

There’s a great scene in the movie The Mission, with Jeremy Irons and Robert De Niro, who play Spanish missionaries who have come to South America to convert the Indians. De Niro has brought elaborate carved chairs and tables and silver chalices and armor and all the things that he felt were necessary, but in the new world, even though he’d tied this stuff up so that he could carry it easily, the slope is too slippery, and it’s raining, and he has to make a decision. Are these things from another life important enough to him to hold on to, even though he won’t be able to keep going and may even have to go back to where he has, or can he cut them loose and reach his goal. Often in a relationship, we are given that opportunity to see our fear, see the things we feel we need to makeĀ  us safe and comfortable, and realize that they’re just not working. At that point, we can decide to let them go or to park them for awhile, to see whether things work better without them.

July 10, 2009 Posted by | Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Be Aware

Somebody is always calling up my program and saying “Everything was going really well and then all of a sudden….” and I say , “Nonsense. You’re either dealing with a psychopath, somebody who deserves an Academy Award, or you weren’t paying attention.” Guess which of these three is most often is. That’s right: You weren’t paying attention.

Sophocles said the unexamined life is not worth living, and I say the unexamined date is a waste of time. Pay attention to your date and to your own responses. You don’t have to constantly monitor as though your date were in dating ICU and liable to expire at any moment, but be willing every once in a while to step out a bit and see what’s going on. How are you? How does the date seem to be doing? Are you happy? Is it fun? Are you being attentive? Do you need more sleep? Are your senses being dulled? Being dense is a tough way to lead your life and dangerous when you’re dealing with someone else who wants you tuned in.

Listen up. Look up. Live it up. Love it up.

July 9, 2009 Posted by | Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Be Creative

You’re not like anybody else on the planet, and neither is your date, so why do the two of you have to follow anybody else’s rules or precedents about what you want, how you act, where you go, or how you communicate? If it’s okey with the two of you – and it’s not illegal – then why not?

I’m not talking necessarily sex here. I’m talking the two of you being original about how to talk and how to act, and finding the courage as well as the fun to be whoever the two of you are, individually and together. For example, is Strawberry jam a great Valentine’s gift or not? I don’t know. Whether it’s a great V-day gift depends on how the two of you feel about it. Be willing to experiment and be your best, most original self.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to startle or shock, but you may surprise yourself at how interesting you can be when you follow your own heart. (And your originality can be a great catalyst to your date’s creativity as well.) If it works, zowie. If it doesn’t, the two of you can talk about it, figure out why not, and come up with alternatives – or decide that you’re really not a great match.

When it comes down to it, isn’t the point to fashion our lives, individually and together, as something precious and rare and meaningful to each of us?

July 8, 2009 Posted by | Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Write Stuff Down

All of us have been talking for a lot longer than we’ve been writing, which is why a blank page seems so intimidating, but when it comes to being honest and keeping track, writing stuff down is an instant combination shortcut and mirror. You don’t have to write an essay or poetry, and no one’s going to be grading for spelling or punctuation. This is simply your way of keeping track. (Little girls often begin the habit to a diary around seven or eight when an auntie gives them a diary.)

A log (not a Captain James T. Kirk kind of log, but a feelings log) can be really useful and helpful and helpful to pinpoint important times, beginning of issues and changes in the relationships. It’s a great way to keep us honest and focused, and as long as it isn’t left around for someone to find and read there is no downside here. A log also is a way of taking responsibility privately so we can practice before we take it publicly.

July 6, 2009 Posted by | Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Re-Evaluate Often

Something that made you happy or behavior that pleased you or someone who rang your chimes once may or may not be in for the long haul. The only way of knowing the short-term from the long-term is to be willing to take your own emotional pulse from time to time.

If you’re happy and you know it, not only clap your hands, but enjoy, and if you have a few extra moments, try to figure out why you’re happy (although, to b quite honest, most of us don’t; we just let the good times roll and rule). But if you’re miserable (or even if there seems to be just a tiny pinch), for heaven’s sake, take a moment and see whether you can figure out alternatives and understand cause and effect (what makes you feel the way you do). Don’t waste time blaming; just try to be specific and active and responsible and problem-solve.

July 3, 2009 Posted by | Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Don’t settle

A life is a series of compromises – going left when you wanted to go right because the taxi cut you off, taking the chicken on the buffet table because the prime rib was all gone, going to the prom with your best friend because you thought your dream date would turn you down. There’s nothing bad or wrong about being flexible. The trick is knowing when to compromise and when to go for it.

To do that, you have to know what’s really important to you, and once you know that, don’t settle. If you don’t have what you want, make sure you do know what you want – being both realistic and specific – and then go for it. You can always re-evaluate. What most people regret is not the mistakes they made, but the chanves they didn’t take.

July 2, 2009 Posted by | Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment