Every dater’s fears

Everyone who dates feels anxiety or stress sooner or later (usually sooner). After all dating isn’t meant to be doring. In earlier sections, I explain the source of stress and give you techniques for coping with it. I identify the fears experienced by anyone who has dallied in the dating world so that you will know that you are not the only one beset by insecurities and worries.

I’ll say the wrong thing. If you worry that you will say “I See,” to someone with really bad vision or, “I’m in a really foul mood,” to someone who looks like a duck, or make a Freudian slip or burp or blurt out the wrong name when addressing your date, join the club. It happens all the time. Just take a deep breath apologize once, and explain that you’re nervous.

I’ll do the wrong thing. You set your menu on fire by the votive candle; swallow down the wrong pipe and spend the next five minutes choking, gasping, and wiping your eyes; ask an usher for a program only to discover she’s really another audience member who, for some reason, though wearing a black-collared red vest to a play would be a good idea; or mispronounce the name of something on the menu. Everybody periodically makes mistakes – and sometimes very silly ones. So why obsess about it? Relax. You’re human. If your date is cool about it, it can become part of your lore; if not, aren’t you glad you found out now?

Broccoli will get stuck in my front teeth. You could avoid smiling all evening just in case, but what’s the fun in that? Run your tongue over your teeth occasionlly, check the mirror in the restroom, or don’t order anything green. And relax. Better to take your chances with stuck broccoli rather the fidget all evening, unless you’re dating a broccoli bigot.

I’ll get an erection. Most women won’t notice, and if your date does, she’ll likely be flattered. Don’t try spilling a glass of water on yourself as distraction.

I’ll get my period. Only if you wear white – just kidding . The point is, nerves rev the system. It’s natural and normal. Carry change or protection and don’t sweat it. If you’re worried, wear a panty-liner just in case.

I hate my date. You’re going out because you hope to have a nice time and good company. But what happens if your date turns out to be a huge boor, intolerably arrogant, or -eek! – the spawn of Satan. You remember that it’s only one night.

My date hates me. As charming and warm and funny and wonderful as you are, you are occasionally going to stumble across a few people who just don’t like you. As hard as it may be to imagine, that’s life. If you want tips on extricating yourself from this situation with the minimum of pain.

Regardless of what your fear is, try to put it in perspective and then put it behind you. Even the most embarrassing blunders are seldom fatal. Plus they make great stories later.