Way #7 – You are willing to go somewhere you hate

I think of this as the ballet/boxing phenomenon. The willingness to go someplace you actually hate with someone you actually love – and not be a pain in the neck about it – is one of the hallmakes of love.

When you first start to date, you are tempted to do whatever it takes to get the date off the ground because you’re blinded by the possibilities. During the next phase of dating, you stand up for yourself and don’t do the activity you hate. This is a necessary evolution because if there is to be true love. it has to be based on who you are, not who you think your begining-to-be-significant other will like. But once you actually get to love, your need to constantly assert yourself is softened by your beloved’s influence and the sense that you can give because your love will reciprocate your generosity.

You don’t need to keep track on a day-to-day basis to make sure everything is 50-50. (I went to her ballet:now she has to come to the three stooges Fifty-Hour Marathon – how tiresome would that get?) But the sense that there is fairness and equality and appreciation and respect means that your reluctance to do something you’re not crazy about gets overwhelmed by your desire to dosomething with the person you love. In other words, the person becomes more important than the event.

Yep, looks like love to me.